Cullen Chat Room Chaos
by AnimegirlKiki
Summary: The Cullens in a Chat room of course. Yes there are many but they are so fun! Random fun, good if u need a good laugh. Rated just to be safe. After Breaking Dawn. Enjoy!
1. Chapter 1

AN: Yes I know there are many of these but I love these flicks they entertain me so, I did one. Giggles. Enjoy the randomness.

Alice: Come on say it

Kiki: I don't wanna

Alice: I see u doing it so do it already

Kiki: Fine, I don't own Alice Cullen

Alice: Andddd…

Kiki: or the rest of the Cullens

Alice: *Glares*

Kiki: OR any part of the Twilight Saga Universe it all belongs to the Wonderful Stephenie Meyer.

Alice: Good girl!

Kiki: *mutter mutter* hisssss….

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Cullen's Chat Room Chaos 

_PianoPlayer has logged on_

_WolfGuy_

_Cantreadmymind has logged on_

_ShoppingQueen has logged on_

_Grizzlyman has logged on_

_BMWBabe has logged on_

ShoppingQueen:…Really those are the best screen names that you guys could come up with?!

Cantreadmymind: What? What's wrong with mine? It's original!

Grizzlyman: I think personally "clumsy human" would be good

PianoPlayer: Emmett…

ShoppingQueen: Nah, more like "Danger Magnet" you can't argue with that one

WolfGuy: Nope not really…

PianoPlayer: Righttt, this coming from "WolfGuy"

WolfGuy: Whatever Leech "PianoPlayer" lame name...

Cantreadmymind: HEY! Edward is a perfect piano player! He even wrote me a song…

PianoPlayer: Ha, take that dog

WolfGuy: Whatever

_LochNessMonsterlookalike has logged on_

Everyone:…

BMWBabe: Reesme Dear, why is that your scene name?

WolfGuy: WAIT!

LochNessMonsterLookalike: Because Jakey thought it was cute

WolfGuy: Dang it…

Cantreadmymind: JAKE!!!!

WolfGuy: Uh…oh

Grizzlyman: Heehee, Wish I could eat popcorn right now…

Cantreadmymind: (glares) we'll get you a better screen name sweetie

LochnessMonsterLookalike: okay whatever

WolfGuy: Still better than "PianoPlayer"

PianoPlayer: Would you get off that?

Cantreadmymind: Sigh..remember when you first played my lullaby for me?

PianoPlayer: Yes…

Cantreadmymind: so sweet, romance

WolfGuy: (gagging noises)

Cantreadmymind: Watch mongrel or I'll punch you AGAIN and this time it WILL HURT!

LochnessMonsterLooklike: Mommy, why did u punch Jakey for?

Everybody:…

Cantreadmymind: Uh, I'll explain later sweetie

ShoppingQueen: Really Emmett Grizzly man is the best you could come up with?

Grizzlyman: Oh so what's so great about "Shopping Queen"

ShoppingQueen: It's a play on "Dancing Queen" from Mama Mia! Dancing Queen Young and sweet..

PianoPlayer: Urgh, Alice please no ABBA…

ConfederateRebel has logged on

ConfederateRebel: Hey-

Grizzlyman: Okay and you say mine is lame!

ShoppingQueen: Watch it! I made his screen name!

LochNessMonsterLookalike: I think it's cool

ShoppingQueen: HA, thank you Nessie

Grizzlyman: Oh sure get the kid on your side…

ConfederateRebel: Um, Em…

Grizzlyman: Don't you love your Uncle Em's Screen Name?

LochNessMonsterlookalike: Yes

Grizzyman: HA

LochNessMonsterlookalike: But I like Daddy's Best

PianoPlayer: that's my girl

Grizzlyman: grrrrrr

ConfederateRebel: Uh Guys!

Cantreadmymind: Aw, cute Daughter/Father Moment

BMWBabe: and there it goes…

ConfederateRebel : GUYS!!!!

Cantreadmymind: ;p

WolfGuy: Bells that's not a real smiley u know

GrizzlyMan: I like it tho…;p ;p ;p ;p ;p, reminds me of those toxic stickers…

PianoPlayer: Which I might add you ignore…

ConfederateRebel: EM!!!

GrizzlyMan: Well, Uh Duh Eddie boy, Vampire!

ShoppingQueen: Uh, Em you might wanna…

Cantreadmymind: True but you should remember to heed the sticker when around humans like Mike Newton, remember that last day you drank that stuff in the science lab He freaked…

Grizzlyman: Oh yeah lol, good times, good tim-

ConfederateRebel/ ShoppingQueen: EMMETT MCARTHY CULLEN!!!  
Grizzlyman: WHAT IS IT!

ConfederateRebel: Your Jeep is on Fire

Grizzlyman: WHAT!!!!!!!???  
Grizzyman has logged off

BMWBabe has logged off

ConfederateRebel:…Jasper what did u do?

ConfederateRebel: Who me?

PianoPlayer: (rolls eyes) He wasn't watching what he was doing in the garage and caught Em's jeep on fire

ConfederateRebel: Hey how?

PianoPlayer: You just logged on the computer right next me Jasper…I thought you were my SMART brother

ConfederateRebel: I'm a little jumpy okay? Not of Em, but Rose…

WolfGuy: Oooo, I smell a cat fight…

ShoppingQueen: Moron, that's when 2 girls fight

WolfGuy: Exactly. Em and Jazz are vamps therefore girly looking therefore Cat fight

PianoPlayer: Your logic defies logic Jacob

WolfGuy: Why thanks Ed

PianoPlayer: that's wasn't a complement Jake

WolfGuy: …Oh.

ShoppingQueen: Uh, Jazz you might wanna log off…

ConfederateRebel: YIPES!!!

_ConfederateRebel has logged off_

ShoppingQueen: Sigh...I'd better go help him

_ShoppingQueen has logged off_

LochnessMonsterLookalike: Is Uncle Emy and Aunt Rose going to kill Uncle Jasper?

PianoPlayer: Nah, maim maybe but not kill

LochNessMonsterlookalike: Oh good

TheDoctorSparkles has logged on

TheDoctorSparkles: …okay who hacked…?

EveryonebutNessie: Emmett

TheDoctorSparkles: thought so…Nessie it's time for dinner

LochNessMonsterlookalike: Okay Grandpa Carlisle

_LochNessMonsterlookalike and TheDoctorSparkles has logged off_

PianoPlayer: Hmm, want to go for a "walk" Bella?

Cantreadmymind: Okay!

_PianoPlayer and Cantreadmymind have logged off_

Wolfguy:…I feel alone…arooooo….

LochNessMonsterlookalike: Jake come on! Dinner 4 u 2!

Wolfguy: Uh? OH! Yay!

_Wolfguy and_ _LochNessMonsterlookalike have logged on_

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AN: TA-DA!! And that makes the official return of AnimeGirlKiki! Lol. Long time since I've gotten to write something! A veryyyy long time…it's sad really…lol. More to come this was my 1st Twilight flick so feel free to review and I do take suggestions tho the next two chapters are planned out already. Well…Chapter 2 is, Chap 3 is under construction lol…

Lol, Kiki


	2. Chapter 2

AN: Hey all! I'm glad you all thought it was funny! It made me feel better thank you!!!! Here is the 2nd chapter its short though. The next Chapie will be longer. And I have a request at the end!

Kiki: Aw, come on Alice what can happen if I don't?

Alice: Lawyers and lots of jail time

Kiki: You're kidding right?

Alice: Think about who you are talking to

Kiki:….Okay fine, Stepheine Meyer is the mighty creator of the Twilight Saga I own nothing expect a lot of stickers, books, t-shirts, and stuff.

Alice: There now you are good. Just need to now update my closet.

Kiki: This could take a while. Lol.

Chapter Two

_Grizzlyman has logged on_

_LovelylittleAngel has logged on_

Grizzlyman: OKAY WHO POSTED THOSE PICS OF ME ON FACEBOOK?!!!!

LovelylittleAngel: What Pics Uncle Emy?

_Cantreadmymind has logged on_

Grizzlyman: Me messing around in Rose's closet! WHERE DID THOSE COME FROM?!

LovelylittleAngel: Were you playing dress up Uncle Em?

Grizzlyman: Uh…yeah…

Cantreadmymind: Emmett you worry me sometimes…

Grizzlyman: Bells, any idea?

Cantreadmymind: I would probably try the pixie-size vampire of the family

Grizzlyman: _Aliceeeee….._

_Grizzlyman has logged off_

LovelylittleAngel: Mommy, what is with Uncle Emmett?

Cantreadmymind:…I dunno honey sometimes I wonder if that bear took some of his brains and the venom didn't grow the parts back.

_ConfederateRebel has logged on_

CondederateRebel: Ahhh, safe at last…

LovelylittleAngel: Uncle Jazzy?

ConfederateRebel: Uh? Oh Nessie new screenname?

LovelylittleAngel: Yep. Aunt Rose and Daddy made it.

ConfederateRebel: Cute

LovelylittleAngel: Um, Uncle Jazzy, are u okay?

ConfederateRebel: Now. I finally lost your Uncle Em somewhere near Lake Erie

Cantreadmymind: Lake Erie?

_EmoPianoPlayer has logged on_

EmoPianoPlayer: I am going to KILL Jake

LovelylittleAngel: HUH?

EmoPianoPlayer: Uh, never mind Sweetie

Cantreadmymind: Hacked your name?

EmoPianoPlayer: Looks like it.

Cantreadmymind: Oh back to Em, how did you guys get to Lake Erie?

ConfederateRebel: Ran duh. I was able to sneak on a boat before Em could get a hold of me. Sigh…looks like I'll have to replace his Jeep

EmoPianoPlayer: I already did 4u. U owe me

ConfederateRebel: Fine with me. Better than Em chasing me

_PixieVampireQueenofShopping has logged on_

Cantreadmymind: Impressive Screen name there Alice

LovelylittleAngel: It so cute!

PixieVampireQueenofShopping: Thanks. Just dodged Emmett near the Rocky Mountains again. Thank goodness for a boom in Grizzly Population and his short attention span

Cantreadmymind: The Rockies?!

PixieVampireQueenofShopping: Yeah. He found out I was the one that posted those pics of him going through Rose's closet

EmoPianoPlayer: Nice one Al

PixieVampireQueenofShopping: Thanks 

LovelylittleAngel:… I feel sorry for Uncle Emy

_SuperGrandmaVamp has logged on_

EmoPianoPlayer: Nice one mom

SuperGrandmaVamp: Hey I'm entitled I have a Grandbaby

LovelylittleAngel: Yep! Me!

SuperGrandmaVamp: Lol. Yes. Anyone see Emmett?

PixieVampireQueenofShopping: Lost him near the Rocky….OMG HE DIDN'T THAT VAMPIRE IS GOING TO DIE!!!!

_PixieVampireQueenofShopping has logged off_

SuperGrandmaVamp: What?

EmoPianoPlayer: I saw something involving a large pile of Prada, a can of gas, and a match

LovelylittleAngel: Uh oh, Uncle Emy is going to die today

Cantreadmymind: That sounds about right…

EmoPianoPlayer: Heehee, I gotta see this fight

_EmoPianoPlayer has logged off_

Cantreadmymind: Oh boy I'd better make sure they don't ALL kill each other

_Cantreadmymind has logged off_

SuperGrandmanVamp: Hmmmm, we could go watch them or go watch Wall*E with Grandpa Carlisle what do you say sweetie?

LovelylittleAngel: I wanna see the fight

SuperGrandmaVamp: Lol, me too. Let's go.

LovelylittleAngel: Kay! I'll get the popcorn!

_SuperGrandmaVamp and LovelylittleAngel have logged off_

_DoctorGrampVamp has logged on_

DoctorGrampVamp:…Where is everybody? I thought we were going to watch Wall*e...and why is there a picture of Emmett in a pink flamingo dress on facebook?!

_WolfGuy has logged on_

WolfGuy: What pics…whoa…okay that is something I never wanted to see…I think I shall go rip my eye balls out now…

DoctorGrampVamp: Jake do u know what is going on?

WolfGuy: Alice posted those and now Emmett is going to BQQ Alice's Prada…man that is wrong that pic realllllyyyy….

DoctorGrampVamp: Alice's Prada? oh boy…

_DoctorGrampVamp has logged off_

WolfGuy:….alone again…_lonely I am so lonelyyyyy I have nobody_….Sweet Vampire fight hahaha…why am I still typing….?

_WolfGuy has logged off_

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AN: Giggles. It was short but I added a little more. Chap 3 is almost done tho I need a name of a famous footballer from the South. I don't know any I barely can remember who is on the Steelers half the time. Lol. I like football but I'm not a very active fan. If anybody could please give me one you'll get the Chapter that much sooner…lol. Thanks everybody keep those reviews coming they make me giggle and make me update sooner!!!

Lol,Kiki


	3. Chapter 3

AN: Sorry I was going to update this morning but I realized that I saved Chap 3 to my family computer instead of my flash drive. :p. Lol. SO here is Chapter 3 and thanks to _Freedomforme_ for the Footballer!! So wonderful this chapter 4 u!! And thanks to all who review you guys make my day. I am so glad that I make people smile!

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Chapter Three

_AlphaDunderMutt has logged on_

_LovelylittleAngel has logged on_

_Cantreadmymind has logged on_

_MindReader1917 has logged on_

LovelylittleAngel: Uh, what happened to your screen name Jakey?

Cantreadmymind: ROFL

AlphaDunderMutt: revenge was what happened I'm impressed Eddie

MindReader1917: Leah gave the suggestion

AlphaDunderMutt: Rotten Beta…

BetaGirl has logged on

BetaGirl: you called oh-fearless-leader aka AlphaDunderMutt?

AlphaDunderMutter: You are going to pay for this betrayal I hope you realize this.

BetaGirl: Ooo, shaking in my boots.

Cantreadmymind: Force her to go shopping with Alice; she's going shopping to replace all Prada that Emmett burned

BetaGirl: Yeah saw that, how is that guy still alive?

MindReader1917: Easy, after fifteen minutes of running around the state Esme yelled at them both then forced Emmett to give Alice his card. No new games for him for a century or so

BetaGirl: Ouch

_PixieVampireQueenofShopping has logged on_

PixieVampireQueenofShopping: No fair! I was planning on a massive shopping spree and I now I can't see anything what the heck?!

AlphaDunderMutt: Simple Leah is now going with you!

BetaGirl: Like H-

MinderReader1917: Kid

Betagirl: e double hockey sticks I am!! NO WAY

AlphaDunderMutt: As the all mighty Alpha I order you to go shopping with Alice

BetaGirl: HEY NO FAIR!! You said you'd never use your Alpha voice!!!!

AlphaDunderMutt: That was BEFORE you hacked my screen name now MOVE IT!!!

PixieVampireQueenofShopping: Ooo sweet! I know just what to buy 4 u 2!!!

_PixieVampireQueenofShopping has logged off_

BetaGirl:….grrrrrrrr…..Jake you $%#3*!!!

_BetaGirl has logged off_

Cantreadmymind: Poor Leah…I feel 4 her…AHHH NO ALICE I'M NOT

_Cantreadmymind has logged off_

MindReader1917: O, that looked like that kinda hurt.

LovelylitteAngel: OH! Mum, Auntie Alice, Auntie Leah, wait 4 me!!! I need 2 go shopping 2!!! I need a new sundress with matching hat in purple!!!!

_LovelylittleAngel has logged off_

MindReader1917: Sigh…it's happened my daughter is a Shopping manic like her Aunt…

AphlaDunderMutt: Yeppy looks like it.

_TheMightyGrizzly has logged on_

TheMightyGrizzly: Yo, the girls are all gone shopping what manly things do u guys wanna do till they get back?

MindReader1917: Dare I ask what you have…sigh…Emmett we can't do that you idiot

TheMightyGrizzly: What it was just an idea…

AphlaDunderMutt: What get me drunk or something?

MindReader1917: Pretty much.

AphlaDundermutt: Can't you stupid leech, it burns up too fast.

TheMightyGrizzly: Dang. Oh well. I vote for Football

_TheCuteGuy100 has logged on_

_ConfederateRebel has logged on_

TheCuteGuy100: Sweeet I'm in!!

Everyone:…

TheCuteGuy100: What?!

AlphaDunderMutt: What the heck Seth?!

TheCuteGuy100: What? It was Nessie's idea.

TheMightyGrizzly: Yeah...If I were u get a new screen name. Anyway FOOTBALL!!!

ConfederateRebel: Wicked Football I'm in

_DoctorGrampVamp has logged on_

DoctorGrampVamp: Sounds like fun, Esme ended up going 2

TheMightyGrizzly: Awesome a really manly game of Football CHARGE!!!

_TheMightyGrizzly has logged off_

Everyone:…

MindReader1917: U know, I wonder if Bella's theory about his brain isn't too far off…

ConfederateRebel: Hm, I would have to concur with that…EMMETT YOU ARE NOT USING MY SIGNED JASON JOHNSON FOOTBALLGIVE THAT!!!!

_ConfederateRebel has logged off_

DoctorGrampVamp: This is this going to probably not going to end well…BOYS!!!

_DoctorGrampVamp has logged off_

TheCuteGuy100: Uh ooooh, was that…?

MindReader1917: Esme's garden yes. That WAS her garden. hmmm this is going to be entertaining to see when she gets back…

AlphaDunderMutt: Ooooo that will be more entraining than when pixie chased him!!

MindReader1917: If there is anything left of them.

AlphaDunderMutt: Wanna go watch them get creamed?

TheCuteGuy100: Yeah! I'm going to go get the popcorn!

MindReader1917: Eh, not like we got anything better to do till the girls return…and is it me or have we made a lot of Popcorn lately?!!!

_MinderReader1917, AlphaDunderMutt, and TheCuteGuy100 have logged off_

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And that is it!! For now. Lol. I have a start on Chapter 4 and I have no idea where this is going or when it will end which is kinda fun. Lol. Again if u have ideas I'll take them!! Just some good old fashion fun! Heeheeeee….I love Seth.

Emmett: Rigggghhht why do I have a feeling this is going involve torture?


	4. Chapter 4

AN: Okay this one is short but full of fun. Lol. It was hard to think of stuff 4 this lol.

Chapter Four

_DangerMagnetVampire has logged on_

_LovelylittleAngel has logged on_

_MindReader1917 has logged on_

_SandyWolfDelta has logged on_

_CrazyMidgetPixieVampire has logged on_

CrazyMidgetPixieVampire:…okay which wolf hacked my name?!

SandyWolfDelta: My sister as pay back 4 the psycho shopping trip

CrazyMidgetPixieVampire: WHAT? On come on it wasn't "psycho"

DangerMagnetVampire: oh yes it was 5 hours straight shopping and over 20 thousand bucks and did Emmett mess with my username?!

LovelyLittleAngel: So that's what Uncle Em was doing last night. I was too busy getting all my new clothes out of the bags to see what he was doing. I found not only a new sundress in purple with matching hat but yellow 2!

MindReader1917: he's not supposed to be using the computer he's grounded along with Jazz. That's sweet Nessie u'll have 2 show it off later.

DangerMagnetVampire: Yeah, what exactly happened? I didn't get back inside quick enough to catch everything all I know it involved Emmett, Jasper, a signed football and Esme's garden (may it R.I.P).

SandyWolfDelta: Yeah…Emmett stole Jasper's signed ball and so Jasper went after him…

MindReader: And you know those two…sigh, the garden didn't stand chance. Carlisle went to stop them but it was too late. The garden was too far gone…

DangerMagnetVampire: Ah, gotcha. Hey Alice did u see that was going to happen?

CrazyMidgetPixieVampire: No not really…hmmm, super glue and chicken…

LovelyLittleAngel: Huh? What are u plotting Auntie Alice?

CrazyMidgetPixieVampire: Revenge for Esme's Garden…

MindReader1917: Super Gluing a Chicken to his Jeep is not very creative Alice.

CrazyMidgetVampire: Well it's hard we've done almost everything that can be done over the last half-century so give me a break!

LovelyLittleAngel: O! Can I help Auntie Alice! Uncle Em killed my little Tiger Lilly flower plant too!!!

DangerMagnetVampire: Sweetie I don't think that would be…eh, what the heck? Go for it. Any Ideas?

MindReader1917: Bella!

DangerMagnetVampire: What? Emmett derives it.

LovelyLittleAngel: Something that involves pink paint!

CrazyMidgetVampire: Yessss…come Nessie we have plotting to do!

_CrazyMidgetVampire and LovelyLittleAngel have logged off_

SandyWolfDelta: Hmm…I should get in on this…

DangerMagnetVampire: Seth!

SandyWolfDelta: What? I'm Bored!

_AlphaWolfMan has logged on_

AlphaWolfMan: What is going on? I came in and Nessie ran past me without a Hi carrying a bucket of Pink paint with Alice behind her with a huge bucket of Glitter and I mean huge!

MindReader1917: Dang…what r they going to do with all that?!

SandyWolfDelta: How much Glitter do u mean?

AlphaWolfMan: Like a 5 gallon bucket.

SandyWolfDelta:……

DangerMagnetVampire: Wow that is a lot of glitter…

MindReader1917: Ha, I know what they're going to do

AlphaWolfMan: What?

MindReader1917: Dolling up Emmett's "man" Jeep

DangerMagnetVampire: HAHAA!! I'll go get a plate that says Barbie!

_DangerMagnetVampire has logged off_

_SuperGrandmaVamp has logged on_

SuperGrandmaVamp: Can anyone tell me why Nessie and Alice have a gallon of Pink Paint and a 5 gal bucket of Glitter and why Bella is singing the Barbie Girl song?

MindReader1917: They are going to avenge the garden by making Emmett's Jeep a Barbie Jeep.

SuperGrandmaVamp: Sweet! I wonder if they need help?

_SuperGrandmaVamp has logged off_

MindReader1917: MOM!

SandyWolfDelta: Hahaaaa, I love ur mom. She rocks.

MindReader1917: She does have her moments. I think I'm going to make sure they don't go too far.

_MindReader1917 has logged off_

SandyWolfDelta: Hey Jake wanna help them go too far?

AlphaWolfMan: Excellent plan let's go

_SandyWolfDelta and AlphaWolfMan have logged off_

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AN: I wasn't sure what kind of prank 2 do then it hit me: pink paint. Lol. This is going to have some funny results. Lol. Oh, and just realized that Rose hasn't been her for 3 chapters now. Oops. Lol. Rose is not my fave Cullen and harder to write (4 me at least) but I'll make sure to have her back in the next Chapter. Lol.


	5. Chapter 5

AN: Thanks to for the suggestion! I forgot almost about that!! Lol. Enjoy. OH and F.Y.I have nothing against blondes 2 of my best friends are blondes it's just part of the story. (Though I do dislike Paris Hilton a great deal….) Enjoy! (ask tim for nicknames from S&Wolves)

Chapter Five

_GirlyManVamp has logged on_

_BetaGirl has logged on_

_AlphaWolfMan has logged on_

_EmoBlondie has logged on_

_MindReader1917 has logged on_

_QueenofPink has logged on_

_GlitterPixie has logged on_

_WutheringHeightsAddict has logged on_

GirlyManVamp: Oh right like painting my Jeep pink wasn't enough!!!!

BetaGirl: Sorry Big guy I couldn't help myself heeheee….

EmoBlondie: Em I understand but why me?

BetaGirl: Just because.

GlitterPixie: Ahhh, another great prank

QueenofPink: And my 1st!

WutheringHeightsAddict: Lol. Yes u 2 out did yourselves

AlphaWolfMan: Great job Nessie!

MindReader1917: Though I think the Barbie plate was a great touch

WutheringHeightsAddict: Thanks love. :)

EmoBlondie: Yes ladies you did a great job

QueenofPink: Thanks Uncle Jazzy!

GirlyManVamp: (mutters curse mutters)

MindReader1917: Oh get over it Em you asked 4 it

GirlyManVamp: HEY I WASN'T THE ONLY ONE WHO DESTROYED THAT GARDEN!!!!

GlitterPixie: Yeah, if u hadn't of stolen his prized football he wouldn't of chased u in the yard in the 1st place! Duh.

EmoBlondie: Yeah.

GirlyManVamp: Whatever.

QueenofPink: Aww, Uncle Em, wanna go watch the Monster Truck rally and eat Gummy bears w/ me?

GirlyManVamp: Yeah. Lets go!

GirlyManVamp and QueenofPink have logged off

BetaGirl: Ooo, Gummy Bears….

BetaGirl has logged off

AphlaWolfMan: Okay that was unexpected.

EmoBlondie: Very

_BMWBabe has logged on_

BMWBabe: U know Bella your theory about Em's brain is getting more sound every day…

MindReader1917: That's what I said. What…oh heck no

_MindReader1917 has logged off_

WutheringHeightsAddict: What?

GlitterPixie: Em is trying to introduce Nessie to RAW Wrestling

WutheringHeightsAddict: OH for the love of!

_WutheringHeightsAddict has logged off_

GlitterPixie:…Rose remind me again why you love that guy?

BMWBabe: It was the dimples

EmoBlondie:…..yeah…

GlitterPixie: Oh! Jazz we had to go through your closet again!

EmoBlondie:?! Al we did that last week!

GlitterPixie: Yeah last week! Come on!

_GlitterPixie has logged off_

AlphaWolfMan: Good luck

EmoBlondie: eh, thanks

_EmoBlondie has logged off_

AlphaWolfMan:…….

BMWBabe:……

AlphaWolfMan:…….

BMWBabe:……

AlphaWolfMan:…….

BMWBabe:……

AlphaWolfMan:Okay I got one! What did the blonde say when she saw the sign in front of the YMCA?

BMWBabe: I give what?

AlphaWolfMan: "Look they spelled MACY'S wrong!"

BMWBabe: (rolls eyes) Lame one Doggie boy

AlphaWolfMan: Fine. Here's one you'll defiantly appreciate: Two blondes lock their keys in the car. One of the blondes tries to break into the car while the other one watches.  
Finally the first blonde says "Darn, I can't get in the car!" The other blond replies, "keep trying, it looks like it is going to rain and the top is down".

BMWBabe: Hahahaa. Yeah really. Keep trying mutt.

AlphaWolfMan: Okay. Even Better: Did you hear about the blonde who stood in front of a mirror with her eyes closed?  
BMWBabe: Sigh why?

AphlaWolfMan: She wanted to see what she looked like asleep.

BMWBabe: *snort* …uh oh

AphlaWolfMan: Did I just hear the almighty Blonde SNORT!?

BMWBabe: U can't prove that!!! \  
AphlaWolfMan: Yeah I can I got the web cam on! Heehee

BMWBabe: GIVE ME THAT DOG OR I WILL DISEMBOWEL U!

AphlaWolfMan: HAHAHA CATCH ME FIRST BARBIE!!!

_AphlaWolfMan has logged off_

_BMWBabe has logged off_

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Yes sadly that was short I was running out of ideas if u didn't notice. I'm going to sit on this for a few days to see what I can figure out and if not, I'll end it in 1 or 2 chapters to keep it good. Ideas are welcome as always as well as reviews!!! Thanks all,

Kiki

Ps- all jokes I had I found at coolblondejokes dot com. Lol. I'm not that good. *winks*


	6. Chapter 6

AN: Hey love out to _Freedomforme _for the idea I changed it up a little!! Lol. Sorry been a long few days so here is now the new chapter!!!

Chapter Six

_AlphaWolfMan has logged on _

_WutheringHeightsAddict has logged on_

_GirlMechanicBlonde has logged on_

WutheringHeightsAddict: Oh good the two people I wanted to talk to

GirlMechanicBlonde: What do you need little sister?

AlphaWolfMan: What's up Bells?

WutheringHeightsAddict: It's Edward's Volvo

_SuperDadVamp has logged on and is invisible to everyone_

GirlMechanicBlonde: What about him?

WutheringHeightsAddict: Don't you think…I dunno outdated?

_SuperDadVamp: uh?_

AphlaWolfMan: Yeah I see what you mean; you've put him through the ringer, lots of miles…

GirlMechanicBlonde: Hmm, couldn't hurt to trade in for something new

_SuperDadVamp:…WHAT?_

WutheringHeightsAddict: Right, any suggestions?

AlphaWolfMan: Hmm, I have a catalog if you want to go through it

GirlMachanicBlonde: Tanya just got a new one you should ask her too she might even take him

_SuperDadVamp: TANYA YOU'RE TRADING ME TO TANYA?!!!!!_

AlphaWolfMan: yeah saw her new one on Facebook I wouldn't go to her for advice, go online tons of good sites

WutheringHeightsAddict: Ooo, good idea Jacob I could order a custom job

_SuperDadVamp: CUSTOM JOB?!!!_

GirlMechanicBlonde: o, Bella u'd better be careful we don't wanna tip off Edward

WutheringHeightsAddict No worries I put up my shield he won't know until I get it done

_SuperDadVamp is now visible_

SuperDadVamp: BELLA WHY?!!! WHAT DID I DO?!!!

WutheringHeightsAddict: Edward what are u talking about?

SuperDadVamp: r u not trading me in for someone new? : (

AlphaWolfMan /GirlMechanic: …..HAHAHAHHAA ROFL!!!!!!!!!!!!

WutheringHightsAddict: What? Oh Edward did you just come in!! Oh for the love of everything holy no!

SuperDadVamp:…Are u sure? I didn't do anything to make you stop loving me that u would give me to Tanya

WutheringHeightAddict: NO! Edward!

AphlaWolfMan: Ahhahahahah, somebody is insecure!!!

GirlMechanicBlonde: LOL

WutheringHeightsAddict: Shut up u 2!

SuperDadVamp: Is that it?!

WutheringHeightAddict: NO EDWARD WE WERE TALKING ABOUT THE VOLVO!!!

SuperDadVamp: Really?

WutheringHeightsAddict: YES!!!!

SuperDadVamp:….oh…

GirlMechanicBlonde: I love your power Bella it makes things so much more fun now heehee…

AlphaWolfMan: Yeah, this is great pay back for my user name heeeheee….

WutheringHeightsAddict: Sigh, Come on Edward let's go get a new car (can't believe I just typed that…oh well)

SuperDadVamp: lol. Sounds good to me!

WutheringHeightsAddict: Hmm, and maybe we can have some fun after that eh?

AlphaWolfMan: BLAH Bells! Do u mind?

WutheringHeightsAddicts: Nope! Let's go!

SuperDadVamp: Right behind u bella my love!

_SuperDadVamp and WutheringHeightsAddict have logged off _

AlphaWolfMan: ….

GirlMechanicBlonde:…Great here we go again…

AlphaWolfMan: …OK! Got one!

GirlMechanicBlonde: Joy to the world what is it Mutt get it over with

AlphaWolfMan: A blonde went to the appliance store sale and found a bargain. "I would like to buy this TV," she told the salesman. "Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," he replied.

GirlMechanicBlonde: Heard it.

AlphaWolfMan: Okayyyy fine uh…okay! What do you call a blonde in the freezer?

GirlMechanicBlonde: A Frosted Flake try again dog.

AlphaWolfMan: A blonde and brunette a both jump off a cliff at the same time. Which one will hit the bottom first?

GirlMechanicBlonde: The Brunette because the Blonde has to ask for directions…Give it up Dog, I've heard them all between Edward & Jasper and once in a while when he's really being dumb Emmett.

AlphaWolfMan: Well…okay fine I will think of a joke that will get u! In the mean while…

GirlMechanicBlonde: what are u doing Jake?!

AlphaWolfMan: Oh nothing…

GirlMechanicBlonde: Oh really then why can I hear Edward Laughing DOG!!!

AlphaWolfMan: Srry g2g!

_AlphaWolfMan has logged off_

GirlMechanicBlonde:…that dog is lucky that Nessie loves him…hisssssss….

_GirlMechanicBlonde has logged off_

-----

AN: Again I wish to state that I have nothing against blondes and that I got this lot from jokes dot com. Lol. Heehee this chapter wasn't as good but I have a few little ideas for the next one to make it funnier. Though if people have ideas I will take them and give credit! Lol.

Lol,Kiki


	7. Chapter 7

AN: Hey, I know I've been on a break, I had my PRAXIS exams (biggest legal scam ever) plus I have a big homework load this semester. Here are my special ed. Movie chapters. This being Harry Potter (I love both so no comments I don't wanna hear it, Apples and oranges people Apples and oranges!!!) the next one will be Transformers so enjoy the parody goodness. Lol.

Alice: Oh Kiki…u forgot something 4 the last few chapters…

Kiki-I did? *whistles*

Alice- You forgot the disclaimer

Kiki_hmm…I was hit by a memory charm when my wand backfired?

Alice- Nice try, say it or I will go all Bat bogey hex on u

Kiki_ ALRIGHT! Pushy little…I don't own the Great Twilight Saga or the legendary Harry Potter series they belong to the great queens of fantasy writing, Stephiene Meyer and J.K. Rowling.

Alice- good now, that I have a chance I want to go and go all Levicorpus on Emmett heehee…

Kiki-hmm…not a bad idea. ;)

Chapter 7: Harry Potter Magic

LunaLovegoodrocks has logged on (nessie)

Voldermontgotsnothin_onme has logged on (Emmett)

FireBoltChick has logged on (Rose)

Werewolf_lover has logged on (jake of course)

MotherWeasley has logged on (Esme)

EmoPotteris_islame has logged on (jasper)

Ifeel4HermonieGranger has logged on (Bella)

Hufflepuff_student has logged on (heeheee just guess)

Hufflepuff_student- fantastic name there Jake what is with all this?

LunaLovegoodrocks- Harry Potter and the Half-blood prince the movie is coming out! Lol. I went and made everything Harry Potter themed!

Ifeel4HermonieGranger- Ahhhh. Gotcha. But I don't get Jasper's

EmoPotteris_lame- Order of the phoenix. That one annoys me he's all acting so emo HA! Like he knows anything about being emo

Voldermontgotsnothin_onme- Yeah Jasper we all know about how you are an expert on the emo market there bro.

EmoPotteris_lame- Shut it Em.

Ifeel4HermonieGranger- okay makes sense (sort of) so okay why is dad hufflepuff student?

LunaLovegoodrocks-Because dad is a hufflepuff we did a sorting hat quiz and that's the house he was in

Voldermortgotsnothin_onme- what not out there for the over-dramatic know-it-all Ravenclaw

Hufflepuff_student-whatever

LunaLovegoodrocks- daddy also looks like that one character from Goblet of fire

Voldermontgotsnothin_onme- oh the one that died?

Lunalovegoodrocks-yep

Voldermortgotsnothin_onme- oh reallyyy? Heehee

Voldermortgotsnothin_onme has hacked into Hufflepuff_student's profile

Hufflepuff_student- HEY

Hufflepuff_student is now CedricDiggoryisnowaZombieVamp

FireboltChick and EmoPotteris_lame and Werewolf_lover- ROFL

Lunalovegoodrocks- Sigh…

Ifeel4HermonieGranger- Just ignore them sweetheart it's a boy thing…

Lunalovegoodrocks-I know mum I know…

CedricDiggoryisnowaZombieVamp has hacked Voldermortgotsnothin_onme's profile

Voldermortgotsnothin_onme- YOU-!!

Voldermortgotsnothin_onme is now FlobberwormEater

FlobberwormEater- oh reallllly clever Ed

TheGreatAlice has logged on

Lunalovegoodrocks- that's not a very creative name Aunt Alice

TheGreatAlice: Uh? OH HP theme 'kay

TheGreatAlice is now Trelawneycankissmycrystalball

CedricDiggoryisnowaZombieVamp- Nice

Werewolf_lover-totally

FireBoltChick: Really Mutt was that the best you could come up with?

Werewolf_lover- So? At least my makes sense you'd never fly too scared to mess up your presious hair Blondie

FireBoltChick has hacked Werewolf_lover's profile

Werewolf_lover- NOOOO!!!

Werewolf_lover is now FluffyPygmyPuffinPink

FluffyPygmyPuffinPink- there is but one word I can think 4 you right now Rose…

Auror_WerewolfChick has logged on

Auror_WerewolfChick- hey

FluffyPygmyPuffinPink-……. No comment…

Auror_WerewolfChick- What?

FluffyPygmyPuffinPink- nothing I would like to live thanks

CedricDiggoryisnowaZombieVamp- heehee, smart move there Jake

FluffyPygmyPuffinPink- yeah well got to go relive Seth but be4 I do…

FluffyPygmyPuffinPink has hacked FireboltChick's profile

FireboltChick is now TheHungarianHornTailDragonLady

FluffyPygmyPuffinPink- BWHAHAHAHA SEE YA SUCKER!

FluffyPygmyPuffinPink has logged off

TheHungarianHornTailDragonLady- YOU DIRTY MUTT!

TheHungarianHornTailDragonLady has logged off

Ifeel4HermonieGranger- oh for the love of Hogwarts…

EmoPotteris_lame- Hey mum surprised you haven't said anything

MotherWeasley -

CedricDiggoryisnowaZombieVamp-Mum?

FlobberwormEater- Do u think she like died or something

Ifeel4HermonieGranger-…oie the mental compactly of a teaspoon…

Trelawneycankissmycrystalball- really, she's reading a book and didn't realize she was logged on! Go on and ding her Nessie

Lunalovegoodrocks- kay!

DING!!!!

MotherWeasley - hmm? What?

Lunalovegoodrocks- um, granny you've been logged on for the last 10 minutes or so

MotherWeasley - really oops! Hey would you like to help me make a snitch cake Nessie?

Lunalovegoodrocks-SURE! And we can put Bernie Bolt's every flavored beans on them!

MotherWeasley and Lunalovegoodrocks have logged off

Auror_WerewolfChick- sounds yummy later lame vamps!

Auror_WerewolfChick has logged off

FlobberwormEater- Really?

EmoPotteris_lame- Talk about to each their own, I've seen the flavors yuck not even if I was human

CedricDiggoryisnowaZombieVamp- ditto

Ifeel4HermonieGranger- Eh, they're not that bad

CedricDiggoryisnowaZombieVamp- let me guess: your fave flavor was the dirt one

Ifeel4HermonieGranger- maybbeee

CedricDiggoryisnowaZombieVamp- lol

FlobberwormEater- Yeah okay whatever Jazz u, me, and wizard's chest now

EmoPotteris_lame- Right kay let's go I needto kick your butt then go ride my new bike

EmoPotteris_lame has logged off

FlobberwormEater- who will kick who's butt now?

FlobberwormEater has logged off

Trelawneycankissmycrystalball – hmmm, those Quidditch robes gave me an idea come Bella

Trelawneycankissmycrystalball has logged off

Ifeel4HermonieGranger- damn

CedricDiggoryisnowaZombieVamp- What was that in Alice's head?

Ifeel4HermonieGranger- probably the next new fashion craze

CedricDiggoryisnowaZombieVamp- no the other bit what did you do?

Ifeel4HermonieGranger-oh I kinda scratched her porche so now I'm stuck being her fashion dummy for payback

CedricDiggoryisnowaZombieVamp- ah…want me to kidnap you?

Ifeel4HermonieGranger- YES!

CedricDiggoryisnowaZombieVamp and Ifeel4HermonieGranger have logged off

BuckBeakwouldbemypet and HealerVamp have logged on

BuckBeakwouldbemypet- hey doc, any idea on why Alice tackled Bella and threw Edward out a window?

HealerVamp- No idea and it's gotten to the point if it doesn't destroy anything I don't ask

BuckBeakwouldbemypet- good philosophy I need to remember that one… ooo I smell Cake!

BuckBeakwouldbemypet has logged off

HealerVamp- why am I almost always the last one here? Sigh…

HealerVamp has logged off

-----

Ta-da! Sorry it got a little lame at the end I began running out of ideas. I was going to do Transformers first but the jokes were harder to do so I did HP first. Lol. Next time will be transformers and I will maybe update next Sat. Depends on my homework load.

Later,

Kiki

P.s- that Movie HBP ROCKED!! Though 2 complaints they missed key points that will get them in trouble with the next 2 and also ONE STINKIN' KISS ON THE LIPS REALLY? IT WAS EVEN MUCH OF ONE LIGHT TOUCH OF THE LIPS WE HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS FOR HOW LONG AND ALL HARRY AND GINNY DO IS ONE LITTLE KISS REALLY?!!!!

*cough* sorry just had to get that out of my system. Lol.


	8. Chapter 8

AN: HELLO EVERYBODY!!! Let's get right to it!

Emmett: AH hm

Kiki: Emmett where is Alice?

Emmett: Said something about a sale at Channel or something fancy place like that

Kiki: I think you mean Chanel. Oh, so you are doing this one eh?

Emmett: Yeah, so say it so we can get back 2 playing Halo 3

Kiki: Alright, Alright, I do not own Transformers or Twilight, I love them but I'm better off writing about Dragons than Robots or Vampires. I'll stick to just playing with them. ;)

Emmett: Okay now can we go?!

Kiki: YES Impatient vamp

Emmett- Yay!

Chapter 7

Transformers special ed.

OPTIMISPRIME has logged on (Emmett)

Wheeler_is_lol has logged on (Nessie)

Arcee has logged in (Rose)

Jazz_autobot has logged in (Yeah, Jasper lol)

Ratchet has logged on (Carlisle)

BumbleBee has logged on (Bella)

BumbleBee_ OKAY WHAT THE HECK?

Wheeler_is_lol-Uncle Emmett and I saw Transformers 2 last night

Jazz_autobot- Ah…thought so.

OPTIMISPRIME- IT WAS EPIC!

BumbleBee- not that I am complaining or anything but why am I Bumblebee? Alice should be I don't have a yellow car

OPTIMISPRIME- Eh, good point

Bumblebee is now StarStream

StarScream- Oh gee thanks Emmett a Decepticon?

OPTIMSPRIME- I AM OPTIMS PRIME DO NOT AGRUE WITH ME PUNY VAMPIRE!!

Arcee- NOW there's a funny movie idea, Vampires vs. Alien robots

Wheeler_is_lol- lol! U could sub 4 Mikaela Auntie Rose! U much prettier!

Arcee- Thank you sweetheart

OPTIMISPRIME- kiss up

Wheeler_is_lol- :P

Jazz_autobot- Nice.

BumbleBeeistheBest has logged on

BumbleBeeistheBest- (shots dart gun) hahaha, I blew u up

OPTMISPRIME- (yanks off dart) oh yeah This means war pixie!

BumbleBeeistheBest- Bumble bee to u, lame-o

OPTMISPRIME – FINE

_OPTIMISPRIME is away from computer_

Ratchet- Em, just remember Esme's garden don't do anything too overboard

Jazz_autobot- Hmmm…

_Jazz_autobot is away from computer_

Wheeler_is_lol- hmmm….wait for me Uncle Jazz!!

_Wheeler_is_lol is away from computer_

_Sideswipe_autobot has logged on_

Sideswipe_autobot- Okay, NOW what is going on? Jasper and Nessie just ran past me singing the new "Transformers" theme in their heads. And Alice why do you have a dart gun…never mind…

BumbleBeeistheBest- Lol

StarScream- Sigh…what are they plotting? (dart hits back of head)

StarScream- …OKAY WHO DID THAT!

_OPTMISPRIME has returned_

OPTMISPRIME- HAHAHHA!!!! TAKE THAT!!! Oh wait, sorry lil sis oops….NO WAIT BELLAAAA!!!! NOOOO….

_OPTMISPRIME has logged off_

_StarScream has logged off_

Sideswipe_autobot- Nice. Don't kill him Bella

Arcee- Yeah. (gets hit on nose by dart gun)

BumbleBeeistheBest- giggles I got u.

Arcee- Okayyy, that's it! I'm getting a nerf blaster!

_Arcee has logged off _

BumbleBeeistheBest- uh-oh

Sideswipe_autobot- Hmm, I'd run if I were u alice

BumbleBeeistheBest- YIKES!

BumblebeeistheBest has logged off

BeastWars has logged on

BeastWars- wow that is one big nerf blaster…did Blondie add a small air pump to that?

Sideswipe_autobot- yeah. One of Emmett's. He's got a bunch that he's tinkered with over the years…HEY (was hit in the forehead)

_Jazz_autobot and Wheeler_is_lol have returned_

Wheeler_is_lol- hahaha! We got u daddy

Jazz_autobot- Great Shot Nessie

BeastWars- ROFLMAO

Sideswipe_autobot- haha yeah yeah nice one Nessie

Wheeler_is_lol- thanks heehee (shots at mom who is still chasing Uncle with a REALLY big nerf gun) HA! One Decepticon down

Sideswipe_autobot- Okay then in that case why did you shoot me? I'm an autobot!

Wheeler_is_lol- simple Uncle Jazz calls it Friendly fire

Sideswipe_autobot- oh realllyyyy

Jazz_autobot- What? I'm teaching the finer points of warfare

Sideswipe_autobot- by shooting her allies? Really Jazz?

BeastWars- Heehee I think it's a cool idea

Wheeler_is_lol- um, Jakey

BeastWars- Yeah Nessie?

Wheeler_is_lol- (shots him)

BeastWars- HEY

Sideswipe_autobot/Jazz_autobot- HAHAHA!

Wheeler_is_lol- Sorry Jake u didn't declare which side u on

BeastWars- AUTOBOT AUTOBOT

Ratchet- …umm, autobot?

Wheeler_is_lol- LOL Grandpa, you're good I made you Ratchet he's the doctor of the group

Ratchet- Oh good (gets shot by wife) HEY ESME WHY?

(off computer) "Because it's fun to play a bad guy once in a while"

Jazz_autobot- HA, nice mom (get hit in the head by mom)

BeastWars- Nice

Wheeler_is_lol- Are you going to take that Grandpa come on!

_Wheeler_is_lol has logged off dragging Ratchet with her _

Jazz_autobot- well this is highly entertaining (gets hit in the back by Leah) WHY YOU!

_Jazz_autobot has logged off_

_AutoBotKid has logged on_

AutoBotKid- What is with all the nerf darts?

Sidewipe_autobot- A theme that has gotten out of control and has taken over the real world…

AutobotKid-ohhhh and Jake

BeastWars- Yeah? (hits in the forehead again)

AutoBotKid- FORGOT TO DECLARE YOURSELF! DECEPTICON!

BeastWars- THAT'S I WILL GO TO THE DARK SIDE IF IT MEANS I CAN SHOOT U!!! THIS IS WAR SETH!!!

AutoBotKid- HAHA! IF U CAN GET PAST PRIME! HAHAHA!!!

_BeastWars has logged off_

_AutobotKid has logged off_

Sideswipe_autobot- hmm, to join or not to join… (gets hit in the back of head by Leah)

Sideswipe_autobot- Join. LEAH YOU ARE GOING DOWN!!!!

_Sideswipe_autobot has logged off_

--------------

Not originally how I planned it but came out funny (to me) all the same. Heehee, next chapter hopefully next week. If anyone has ideas or themes or whatever they want I'll take them. Lol. I really have nothing for the next one so I'll take anything anybody's got.

Emmett- Ohhhh Kikiiiiii

Kiki_ What?

(SMACK)

Emmett- Got ya

Kiki: ….Okay even though u are autobot, I'M GOING TO DESTORY YOU ANYWAY

Emmett- AHAHAHHAHAHAA!!!

Kiki: YOU!!!

Lol, Kiki


	9. Chapter 9

AN: Lol, thanks everyone for the reviews! Glad that someone likes my random/slapstick comedy sense of humor. ;) Sorry for the wait so here is the new chapter it has a mix of some of the suggestions but with a mostly Pirates of the Caribbean theme! Thanks again to _PaddingtonBear0219__!_ I had to watch them again it's been so long lol. I love those movies… Oh and btw, I wrote a poem about being a twilight fan or in the sense the whole of fandom so if you could read it and review I'd love that! Anyway, here we go!

Kiki: Okay Emmett, you now must surrender and join my crew of Pirates!

Emmett: Why would I do that?

Kiki: I have your precious teddy bear.

Emmett: NOOOOO!! Dang it! Fine. But you must do the disclaimer!

Kiki: Fine. I don't own Pirates of the Caribbean or Twilight; they belong to Disney and the Great Queen Vampire of Romance Stepheine Meyer.

Emmett: okay cool I need a cool pirate name…

Kiki: *snickers* this may take a while pirates aren't that creative when it comes to names as Captain Jack pointed out

Emmett- HA I know Emmett the Strong

Kiki_ Yep he was right. *sigh* lol

------

Cullen Chat Room Chaos

Chapter 9

CAPTAINJackSparrow has logged on (Emmett)

ElizabethSWAN has logged on (if u can't guess then you're sad)

QueenoftheVampPirates has logged on (Nessie)

CuterthanOrlandoBloom has logged on (Edward. lol I could debate that one…lol they are equal cute okay, Rob and Orlando *lol* both very sexy!)

theBlackPearlismine has logged on (Rosalie)

PixiePirateVamp (Alice)

Cottons_ Parrot (Seth)

Crakenismine (Jake)

CaptainJasper (yeah need I type it?)

Dontletyourkidsgrowup2bepirates (esme LOL)

Cottons_ Parrot- Okay, let me guess, someone watched all 3 Pirates of the Caribbean Movies last night?

QueenoftheVampPirates- Yep! Oops I mean Aye!

Cottons_ Parrot- sweeeet. Wait, not sweet why am I cotton's parrot?!

Crakenismine- Simple you're a little minion that doesn't get to say a lot

Cottons_Parrot- …gee thanks oh fearless leader

QueenoftheVampPirates- its okay Seth. Cotton's parrot is cool!

CAPTAINJackSparrow- yeah yeah whatever TIME TO DECLARE ALLIANCES!!!! WHO'S WITH ME?!!!!

Everyone:…….. *cricket chirping*

CAPTAINJackSparrow- what? If you don't declare yourselves I will do something extra annoying…

Everyone: Parlay

CAPTAINJackSparrow: ….Really guys? I AM the captain that's totally pointless!  
QueenoftheVampPirates- But it's fun 2 say! Parlay parlay parlay parlay…

CAPTAINJackSparrow: Okay new pirate rule: NO PARALLY!!! Bloody French words…

PixiePirateVamp: Really Em, what's the point? We're just going to end up chasing each other around like last time

CAPTAINJackSparrow: Exactly! Fun much?

CuterthanOrlandoBloom- Em, you have a one track mind…

CaptainJasper: And now you're just figuring this out?

CuterthanOrlandoBloom- whatever

QueenoftheVampPirates- hmmm, now that I watch the movies again and think about it…Orlando Bloom is hot!

Crakenismine: UH? Not hotter than me right?

QueenoftheVampPirates- *rolls eyes* Jakey nobody is hotter than you! You're a werewolf and werewolves have a high temp

Cottons_Parrot- LOL

Crakenismimne – shove it Seth, I didn't mean temperature wise I meant look wise, Come on who do you think is better looking?

QueenoftheVampPirates- hmmm, Can I get back 2 u on that?

ElizabethSWAN/ theBlackPearlismine/ CuterthanOrlandoBloom- ROFL

Crakenismine- jee thanks nessie love u 2. :(

Crakenismine has logged off

QueenoftheVampirates- OH brother. Jake is sad. Sigh I'd better go cheer him up…

_QueenoftheVampPirates has logged off_

heBlackPearlismine: Ahhhh, that was deeply satisfying

CAPTAINJackSparrow:…Okay whatever. SWORD TIME!!!

Dontletyourkidsgrowup2bepirates- Absolutely not. No sword fighting in this house! OR outside for that matter!

CAPTAINJackSparrow- What?! I am a pirate and Pirates sword fights!!! And we don't have our mums ordering us around either

Everyone: Ooooooo

PixiePirateVamp: Heehee, don't have 2b me 2 know what's comin'

Dontletyourkidsgrowup2bepirates- What was that Emmett McCarthy Cullen?

CAPTAINJackSparrow- nothing mommy.

Dontletyourkidsgrowup2bepirates- That's what I thought.

CuterthanOrlandoBloom/CaptainJasper/ Cottons_Parrot: *snickers*

CAPTAINJackSparrow- great now what I am going to do…OH I KNOW!!!

CAPTAINJackSparrow has logged off

CuterthanOrlandoBloom- Yeah, how's about we retire to our own little island Ms. Swan before he gets back?

ElizabethSWAN- Sounds good to me! Lol.

_CuterthanOrlandoBloom and ElizabethSWAN have logged off_

Cottons_Parrot- aw yet again urgh

CaptainJasper- Tell me about it

CAPTAINJackSparrow has logged on

CAPTAINJackSparrow- heeheee…

CaptainJasper- Okay find I will probably regret this but what did u do and why do you have a jar of dirt?

CAPTAINJackSparrow- My jar of dirt!!!

CaptainJasper- okay I get that but WHY?

CAPTAINJackSparrow- hmmm, we need rum

theBlackPearlismine- Emmettttttt

CaptainJasper- Emmett, you're a vampire you can't get drunk and again what is w/ the jar of dirt?!

Cottons_Parrot: Yeah dude why?

CAPTAINJackSparrow- that is for the capt to know and for the other fake capt to never find out. :p

CaptainJasper- Fake captain?

PixiePirateVamp: Don't worry he's about 2 get it.

_BewareofScurvy has logged on _(Carlisle)

BewareofScurvy: Anyone know were my priceless Spanish doubloons have gone?!

_QueenoftheVampPirates has logged on_

QueenoftheVampPirates: We're pirates Grandpa so we had to bury our gold!

CAPTAINJackSparrow- Oh bugger.

Dontletyourkidsgrowup2bepirates: Emmett where are they?

CAPTAINJackSparrow- Ummmm…parlay?

PixiePirateVamp- Nice try dude NO Parlay remember?

CAPTAINJackSparrow: Drat.

BewareofScurvy: EMMETT I want to know where they have gone NOW

QueenoftheVampPirates- they haven't gone anywhere!

Everyone: Huh?

QueenoftheVampPriates- You see, if they were where they were supposed to be buried and not in a study like they were they haven't gone away expect back to the place they first started at, er, belonged at as it were. Though they could never be back where they belong for that was Spain so therefore they are forever lost technically. Unless they go back 2 Spain.

Everyone:…

CaptainJasper: What kind of logic is that?

QueenoftheVampPirates- Pirate Logic

theBlackPearlismine- Well played Nessie

Cottons_Parrot- *still trying to figure it out*

QueenoftheVampPirates- Thanks! ;)

CAPTAINJackSparrow- Yeah what she said

BewareofScurvy- Yeah, nice try u 2, I want to know now or no TV

(off computer) BOOM!

Everyone but Emmett and Nessie:…What was that?

QueenoftheVampPirates- Uncle em said that real pirates put booby traps around their treasure

CAPTAINJackSparrow- hee… hee?

theBlackPearlismine- Oh brother. Where exactly did u 2 bury the stuff and booby trap it?

(off computer) Edward and Bella: EMMETT YOU ARE DEAD!

PixiePirateVamp- Edward and Bella's meadow I run em, in exactly 2 seconds they are going to get here with the intentions of buring you slowly and painfully for destroying their meadow to cinders

CAPTAINJackSparrow: YIPE!

CAPTAINJackSparrow and his jar of dirt has logged off

BewareofScurvy- oh boy poor Edward and Bella... look at their hair…sigh I better go stop them from tearing him completely apart Girls could you go and save my gold while I take care of this?

PixiePirateVamp/ QueenoftheVampPirates/ theBlackPearlismine- Okay

Dontletyourkidsgrowup2bepirates: Sigh I'll help u dear

Cottons_Parrot- me thinks just retire to the Xbox I will

_Cottons_Parrot and BewareofScurvy and Dontletyourkidsgrowup2bepirates has logged off_

CaptainJasper: Alice…

PixiePirateVamp- yes my jasper?

CaptainJasper: U knew Nessie and Em set the traps and Edward and Bella were going to the meadow

PixiPirateVamp: Yeah

CaptainJasper: Why didn't you stop them?!

PixiePirateVamp: I hated the shirt Bella was wearing so come girls we have gold to unearth!

_PixiePirateVamp/ QueenoftheVampPirates/ theBlackPearlismine have logged off_

IamMiketheCOol has logged on

IamMiketheCOol: oh drat Missed everyone oh well too bad.

CaptainJasper: Mike Newton is that u?

IamMiketheCOol: Yeah. I was bored what's up with u?

CaptainJasper: nothing just pondering over the mystery that I may never bloody well get the answer 2!

IamMiketheCOol: What that?

CaptainJasper: WHY DID EMMETT HAVE A JAR OF DIRT?!

_CaptainJasper has logged off_

IamMiketheCOol:…Alrighty then…I'll just go now…

_IamMiketheCOol has logged off_

---------

Sigh. Sorry for not updating sooner. I haven't been feeling well... (Probably a touch of the flu going around campus…) and I've had a heavy work load. Also for some reason writing a PotC theme was hard…which is strange for I loooove this movie series….oh well. Lol. Not as funny as some of the last I think. Back 2 normal though next time and a little bit of Halloween will make it easier to come up with jokes me thinks. Lol. More humans will arrive next chapter thanks to _funnyducky_ for reminding me about the humans. :) One last note, I GOT THE ILLUSTRATED NEW MOON MOVIE COMPANION!!! IT ROCKS!!! Giggles. Soooo many pretty pictures…lol. OH and I just found out that Transformers 2 and the New Moon soundtrack…yeah they come out the same day. My bank account is already crying…lol.

So till next time!

Lol,Kiki

P.S- Reviews help me keep on writing! *winks* Now where is that bloody vampire I want to smack something….

Emmett: (On the ceiling) heehee she'll never find me

Kiki: Yeah if u hadn't just giggled

Emmett: Drat

Kiki: ;)


	10. Chapter 10

AN: Thanks to all my lovey reviewers!!! I feel so happy when I see the reviews!!! Anywho, on with it! Btw, THE NEW MOON SOUNDTRACK ROCKS!!!! Lol. Just thought I'd mention that. ;) As did the Movie!!! IT WAS PERFECT!!! BETTER THAN TWILIGHT!!!! THANK YOU CHRIS!!!! Lol.

Jasper: Hey

Kiki: Uh, Hi Jasper where's Em?

Jasper: Oh, he's plotting revenge so he sent me instead.

Kiki: Okayyyyy

Jasper: And 2 remind u to do the disclaimer

Kiki: Oh, right, I don't own Twilight Saga; alllll belongs to Stephine Meyer, the great.

Jasper: Hmmm…

Kiki: Don't even think about making me hyper Jasper, the results won't be pretty

Jasper: *evil grin*

Kiki: CANDY!!!!!!! (runs off screaming)

Jasper: Well what do u know, she was right….not a pretty sight at all…who knew someone that small could fit so many Reese's mini cups in her mouth….

-------

Chapter 10

Emmettisadeadman has logged on (Edward)

Emisnolongermybro has logged on (Bella)

SandyWolfguy has logged on (Seth)

SilverStreak has logged on (Leah)

SilverStreak- Okayyyy what did I miss last night? What did the big guy do 2u 2?

Emmettisadeadman- He bobby trapped our favorite meadow and turned to cinders to top it alllll off we got caught in the trap

Emisnolongermybro- Yeah….

SandyWolfguy- not a pretty sight

PixieGirlVampireofthefuture has logged on

Emisnolongermybro- AND YOU!

PixieGirlVampireofthefuture- What?

Emisnolongermybro- YOU knew that Emmett did that and we were going to get blown up! Didn't even warn us!

PixieGirlVampireofthefuture- Sorry. But you were wearing a realllly horrible shirt!

SilverStreak- You risked ur sis's life over a shirt?

PixieGirlVampireofthefuture- oh please over dramatized much. I knew you would survive just not the shirt. Pu-lezzzz I'm not heartless

Emmettisadeadman- *sigh* Though in the end I can't say I was torn up over the shirt…

Emisnolongermybro- ditto *giggles*

SilverStreak- urgh, please just ate none of that talk please

ImHotterthanOrlandoBloom has logged on

ImHotterthanOrlandoBloom – heeheee

SilverStreak- okayyyy really Jake?

ImHotterthanOrlandoBloom- What? My imprint sayz I'm hotter than some brit dude, I'm happy so there.

Emmettisadeadman- *snort* yeah, but she had 2 think about it didn't she?

ImHotterthanOrlandoBloom- so, as long as she came to said conclusion doesn't matter

SandyWolfguy- dude 4 hrs though?

ImHotterthanOrlandoBloom- don't burst my bubble Seth or else I will force u 2 watch 4 hours worth of Dora the explorer

SandyWolfguy- shutting.

_EmmetttheGreat has logged on with his jar of dirt_

_JazzMan has logged on_

ImHotterthanOrlandoBloom: Oh look, it's a dead vamp

EmmetttheGreat: :P whatever I am still a great pirate captain

Emmettisadeadman/ Emisnolongermybro- *glares*

EmmetttheGreat- Okay look, you're both alive and got some hot love in to boot, would u 2 get over it?!

Emisnolongermybro- Whatever, u still destroyed our poor meadow! (may it R.I.P w/ Esme's Garden)

Emmettisadeadman- No kid, what is w/ u and plants em?

JazzMan- Yeah, fine but all I want to know is WHY DO U STILL HAVE THE JAR OF DIRT!? Edward, would u pleeeeaze tell me?!

EmmetttheGreat- NO DON'T-

Emmettisadeadman- *evil grin* Do u realllly wanna know Jazz?

Jazzman- YES! It's been buggin' me all night after u tried 2 kill em, I didn't get a chance 2 ask so yes.

Emmettisadeadman- Okay, you really want 2 know?

JazzMan- yes! I just told u yes!

EmmetttheGreat- heeeheee

Emmettisadeadman- don't be 2 happy Em, Bella and I stole

EmmetttheGreat- *GASP*NOOO MY TEDDY POO!

Emisnolongermybro- mwhahahahaa

JazzMan- Nice, but Come on I WANNA KNOW WHY JAR OF DIRT!

Emmettisadeanman- ARE U SURE?

JazzMan- YES DANG IT YES!!!

PixieGirlVampireofthefuture: Edward!

ImHotterthanOrlandoBloom- oh for the love of La Push, tells the dude already!

SandyWolfguy- Yeah and besides, I wanna know.

SilverStreak- Seriously stop torturing the ma…er vamp. I'm not even that ruthless

Everybody: ….

SilverStreak: Okay, maybe I am but I now wanna know why

EmmetttheGreat- NO DON"T

Emisnolongermybro- (waves around )

EmmetttheGreat- Mr. snuggles…..

Emmettisadeadman- okay the reason he has a jar of dirt is-

MikeNeWTON has logged on

Everyone- OH FOR THE LOVE OF EVERYTHING HOLY!!!!

MikeNeWTON- Hi Bella!

Emisnolongermybro - oh, uh hi Mike

MikeNeWTON- What's up everybody?

JazzMan- danggg ittttttt

_JazzMan has logged off_

MikeNeWTON- What's wrong with him?

PixieGirlVampireofthefuture- sigh…he just suffered a big disappointment…

_PixieGirlVampireofthefuture has logged off_

MikeNeWTON- Alrighty then. So Edward, Bella what have u2 been up 2?

Emmettisadeadman- Ah nothing really. (Catches Mr. snuggles from Bella and is holding it out of Em's reach) Just hanging out enjoying life that sort of thing

MikeNeWTON- cool. Ditto. Me and Jessica just hangin' out in CA. How's Alaska

Emisnolongermybro- Cold. Edward u'd better go and see what Jazz is whining about

Emmettisadeadman- oh for the love of pete

Emmettisadeadman has logged off

MikeNeWTON – okay. So nothing new to report?

Emmettisnolongermybro- NO not really

_CutelittleAngel has logged on_

CutelittleAngel : Hey Mommy, Uncle Jasper is going on about how Uncle Em is being a meanie and wants u to put him in his place and Uncle Em is threatening to destroy daddy's car if he doesn't give back

MikeNeWTON- O_O

Emmettisnolongermybro- Uhhh, right I'll be there in a sec honey

CuteLittleAngel-Oaky dokey

_CuteLittleAngel has logged off_

MikeNeWTON- Mommy?!

Emmettisnolongermybro- Um , yeah u see Edward's real brother just died so we're looking after his daughter u see and she really has takin' a shine to us. :P

MikeNeWTON-ohhhh okay. Gotcha wow though must get crowded over there

Emmettisnolongermybro- (_watching Jasper and Edward play keep away with Mr. Snuggles while Emmett is cursing them out) _You could say that look Mike I have to go and play peace maker talk 2 u later _((Like maybe never…..(bella thinks))_

MikeNeWTON- Okay bye!

_MikeNeWTON has logged off_

ImHotterthanOrlandoBloom- *mutters* nut job

Emmettisnolongermybro- Phew! Why couldn't it been Angela…HEY COME ON GUYS GIVE BACK !!! WHY IS IT I HAVE TO PLAY PARNET WHEN CARLISE AND ESME AREN"T AROUND!!??

_JazzMan has logged on _

_EmmetttheGreat has logged on_

_Emmettisadeadman has logged on_

JazzMan- I will give back the kidnapped bear when Em tells me about the jar of dirt

EmmetttheGreat- Give it back and maybe I will let u live

Emmettisadeadman- I'm just having fun *shrugs*

Emmettisnolongermybro-Okay really guys REALLY?

All three: yep.

ImHotterthanOrlandoBloom/ SandyWolfguy- LOL

SilverStreak- Men, just really big babies

Alltheguys: HEY!

*Emmett glares then jumps Edward and runs off yelling MY TEDDY!!!!*

_EmmetttheGreat has logged off_

Emmettisadeadman: Dannnng ittttt Jasper!

JazzMan: Right! *uses power to make Emmett Slow*

_Jazzman and Emmettisadeadman have logged off_

ImHotterthanOrlandoBloom- hmm…never seen a vamp give someone the finger before nice

SilverStreak: Fastest draw I've ever seen lol

CutelittleAngel has logged on

CutelitteAngel: Mom, what is with them?

Emmettisnolongermybro- It's their Y chromosome it makes them…CARLISE!?  
SilverStreak_ AHAHAHA, didn't know the doc could be as immature as the rest of them

ImHotterthanOrlandoBloom- Dang were is popcorn when I need some?

SandyWolfguy- Ta da

ImHotterthanOrlandoBloom- Nice one little minion

SilverStreak- yeah bro you may make a good servent yet

SandyWolfguy- Whatever. Uh, didn't know Carlise had such a good strangle hold he's got Em good.

Emmettisnolongermybro- Okay that's it someone is going to have to be the grown up around here!

ImHotterthanOrlandoBloom- *munch munch* Yeah, good luck w/ that bells

CutelitteAngel: Go get them mom! Lol

Emmettisnolongermybro- Rightttt

_Emmettisnolongermybro has logged off_

ImHotterthanOrlandoBloom- Heehee this should be….

BANG!

Everyone: ooooooo

CutelittleAngel: Is all the guys in trouble

SilverStreak- understatement of the year kid

SandyWolfguy_ and it's only going to get better the other Cullen women are home!

ImHotterthanOrlandoBloom- Sweet, minion go get more popcorn

SandyWolfguy- No way you get it

SilverStreak- go now or else I take all your auto magazines and burn them before you can even see the cover

SandyWolfguy: *glares* meanie fine. I don't wanna be near them anyway those glares could kill them again…

_SandyWolfguy has logged off_

SilverStreak: Hmm, kid got point, Kitchen?

ImHotterthanOrlandoBloom and CutelittleAngel: Kitchen

_SilverStreak, ImHotterthanOrlandoBloom, CutelittleAngel have logged off_

AN: Not one of my funniest chapters I ran into writer's block. Lol. I promise Next chapter the jar of dirt will be explained lol.

**AN2: I AM SOOOOO SORRY!** I wrote this ages ago but ran to problems with the next chapter so I am working on catching up with the holidays! Sorry folks more coming soon!


	11. Chapter 11

AN: This chapter was inspired by the magazine Empire's 100 sexiest Men list. I was sooo ticked off when I saw that Pitt and Craig(Casino Royal) were higher up than Kellan , Jackson, and Orlando bloom!!! Hisssssss. So here is Cullen Chat room chaos making fun of them. Lol. So bonus chapter for u guys!! (Feel loved my fans; I should be studying 4 my midterms but I can't focus!)

P.S MUST READ AUTHOR NOT E AT END!

Kiki: *drooling over New Moon trailer for 10,000,000,001 times*

Jasper- What are u watching?

Kiki: Some of the sexiest men on the planet

Jasper: *sigh* right Are u going to do the disclaimer or not

Kiki: *eyes glued on Rob taking his shirt off*

Jasper: Yeah…thought so. AnimeGirlKiki does not own the Twilight Saga…

Kiki: *giggles*

Jasper: But really wishes she could own Robert Pattinson

Kiki: HUH?! I HEARD THAT!!!! I DON'T WANNA OWN HIM!

Jasper: Really?

Kiki: Yeah, just date him. I am not a psycho stalker fan girl thank you very much. :P

Jasper: Whatever, tell that 2 ur Edward Watch, Candle, Slap bracelet, T-shirt, magnets, Poster and the Life story Magazine

Kiki: HEY WERE DID U FIND THOSE!!!?

Jasper: heehee

Kiki: JASPER!!!!

Chapter 11

RosesAreLovely has logged on (Rosalie)

Juliet_thefairestofall has logged on (Bella)

FashionVampofqueenlikestature has logged on (Alice)

CarmelColoredGoddess (Esme) has logged on (esme)

Juliet_thefairestofall: What's up with our user names?

RosesAreLovely: Most likely the boys trying to make up for their immature behaviors

FashionVampofqueenlikestature: yeah, pretty much I can't believe them sometimes…Carlisle shouldn't have changed teenagers…

CarmelColoredGoddess: Hmm, he really wasn't much better than the others!

RosesAreLovely: Okay, just so I know, what happened before Alice, Esme, and I got home? What exactly went down?

Juliet_thefairestofall: Yeah, we were messing around when the boys just got out of hand (Emmett espicallllly) and boom, Carlisle came in and joined the stupidity and next thing you know, half of the garage is gone.

FashionVampofqueenlikestature: Idiots scratched my porshe!

Juliet_thefairestofall- Really Alice it was only a small one

FashionVampofqueenlikestature: Idiots scratched my Porsche!

RosesAreLovely: Big deal. I have to redo the Jeep again! Sigh…

CarmelColoredGoddess: You should make the boys do it

RosesAreLovely: heehee, yeah, personal slaves heehee

Juliet_thefairestofall: Only One of them is your personal slave Rose remember that

RosesAreLovely: Eh, fair enough

FashionVampofqueenlikestature: Yeah well seeing we're ticked off at them let's talk about some sexy human actors to get back at them. *whips out 100 sexist men list*

RosesAreLovely: Let me see that…Hmm, I claim Shia Lebouf

CarmelColoredGoddess: Why?

RoseAreLovely: He's cute need I say more?

FashionVampofqueenlikestature: Ooo, I claim Orlando Bloom!

Juliet_thefairestofall- Uh, I want Orlando!

FashionVampofqueenlikestature: :P No way, Orlando is only 5'11 dibbs!

Juliet_thefairestofall-….fine. But I can't pick anybody no one is cuter than my Edward!

RosesAreLovely: What about this Robert Pattinson guy?

Juliet_thefairestofall- ooo, he is cute…

CarmelColoredGoddess_lol. Hmm, maybe Harrison ford in his younger days…

FashionVampofqueenlikestature: Lol nice

CarmelColoredGoddess- In rock jeans…

_ALicespersonalSlave has logged on_

ALicespersonalSlave: Okay that was an image that I don't think anyone wanted in their head espically Edward…

CarmelColoredGoddess: :P

FashionVampofqueenlikestature: Lol Yes Jasper I concur but that's not why u r here what is it?

ALicespersonalSlave: Would you PLEASE explain one of u why Emmett has a jar of dirt? Edward is being mean and won't tell me WHY he is still carrying it around

RosesAreLovely: I would if I could but for once I don't even know or care

FashionVampofqueenlikestature: For once?

RosesAreLovely: Oh phhhttt

ALicespersonalSlave: Oh come on Really?

_LittlePrincessAngel has logged on with the magazine _

LittlePrincessAngel: It's really simple Uncle Jasper, he's just doing it to annoy you

Everyone:….

Juliet_thefairestofall- Well what do u know it is really simple

RosesAreLovely: that's Emmett

ALicespersonalSlave: Reallllllly *sigh* thanks Nessie

LittlePrincesAngel: Huh? Yeah no prob Uncle Jazz, okay why is Brad Pritt higher than Orlando bloom? Brad has more wrinkles and looks like shaggy stray dog!

Off computer: HEY!

LittlePrincesAngel: No offence Jacob!

Juliet_thefairestofall: WHAT? Really that's just plain stupid Pitt should be at the bottom!

FashionVampofqueenlikestature: Or like not at all, I'm writing my own list, No. One, Orlando Bloom…

ALicespersonalSlave: What about me??

FashionVampofqueenlikestature: Uh this is hot human celeb list Jazz

CarmelColoredGoddess: NO way, Harrison is the oldest and therefore should be No.1

FashionVampofqueenlikestature: Oh come on yeah he was hot WAS! He's like 80 or something so therefore should be No.5 not to mention married

RosesAreLovely: That's why Shia should be No.1 he's not married OR engaged! So ha!

Juliet_thefairestofall: No way, Robert can sing he's advantage over all of them he should be!

RoseAreLovely: Whatever at least Shia can pull off a beard!

Juliet_thefairestofall: Whatever! Probably for a roll anyway!

FashionVampofqueenlikestature: Fine, simple vote I and Nessie say Orlando so Orlando wins!

RosesAreLovely: That's not fair!

FashionVampofqueenlikestature: Give it up sis I have seen it and I DO WIN

CarmelColoredGoddess: Just because u decide you will win doesn't mean u will

FashionVampofqueenlikestature: OH YES IT DOES!

ALicespersonalSlave:…

_ALicespersonalSlave has logged off with LittlePrincessAngel to get away from brawl that is coming…_

Juliet_thefairestofall: You know what we should do? Rock, Paper, Scissors, Lizard, Spock!  
FashionVampofqueenlikestature: Copying from the Big Bang theory isn't going to work!

CarmelColoredGoddess: Fine so what will?

FashionVampofqueenlikestature: Irina and Tanya is it agreed?

Everyone: YES  
FashionVampofqueenlikestature: **Fine!!!!!!!**

_Everyone has logged off_

**READ AUTHOR NOTE ALERT!!! **

AN: Yeah, I know I know," AnimegirlKiki…WTF?" School over ran my life and also…writer's block lol. So the next fewthat will be coming are all the ones I would have updated if I had time to do so there for all three of the major holidays. And AliceCullenIsTheBest, I added in Buffy to the Halloween chapter, so no worries. Sadly I haven't seen Buffy in a long time and I wasn't that realllly into it (I liked but wasn't like, twihard fan level lol) so I hope that it worked out tho. This chapter just never got as funny as I wanted it sorry about that! Coming Soon: Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas! Thanks to all who are joining in and those who are hanging in!!!!

LATER LOTS OF LOVE!!!!


	12. Chapter 12

AN: AROOOOOO!!! HAPPY HALLLOOOWEEEN!!!!!

Seth: *whips in* okay I'm here where's the emergency!?!!

Kiki: what r u talking about?

Seth: U yelled didn't ya?

Kiki: For spooky Halloween affect dude.

Seth: Oh, right cool. I'll go get my costume!

Kiki: Cool, I'm Indiana Jones what is yours?

Seth: Van Helsing

Jasper: Okay no way, I'm Helsing!!!

Seth: NO me!

Jasper: You're a wolf, so go as one!

Seth: Lame dude that's reallllly lame!

Kiki: Sigh…

Japer: I'M HELSING!

Seth: DUDE YOU'RE A VAMPIRE MAKES NO SENSE!

Jasper: It's supposed to be Ironic!

Kiki: Okay yeah, I'm going 2 go hang out with Alice…in wonderland appartly…Really Alice?!

Alice: What? It's in honor of Tim Burton's new one

Kiki: Okay fair enough. Btw, as always I own nothing it belongs to S. Meyer and whoever else I mention in this chapter lol

Jasper: Whatever I am soooo Van Helsing!

Seth: Tch and what makes u think you're Van helsing?

Jasper: I'm scarier!

Emmett: Yeah u both wrong. *dressed as Van Helsing*

Jasper/Seth: Curse u Emmett

AN: This is a loooong one because I stuck Horror and Buffy in here and also, I was having too much fun. Halloween is one of my specialties. ;) Thanks to my b.f.f. fusedtwilight (also fellow fan fiction writer) for the real Quileute legend he found for me. This Chapter is 4 u Tim-kun

Chapter 12 Halloweeeeeennnnnnn

_VampKitty has logged on (nessie)_

_GhostBusterEm has logged on (Emmett)_

_StarWarsBountyHunter has logged on (Jacob)_

_2ndGhostBuster has logged on (Seth)_

VampKitty: Okay Men, we have a mission to complete!

2ndGhostBuster: Right!

TheJoker has logged on

GhostBusterEm: Uh Jasper…?

TheJoker: Sigh…Alice got 2 me so what are u guys plotting exactly?

VampKitty: Best places to trick-or-treat! Okay, so we are going to hit La Push, Grandpa Charlie, and Forks itself

StarWarsBountyHunter: Works 4 me. We can start at my place. We'll met up with Quil and Claire and then go down the line

VampKitty: Cool! And after that, we'll come back here and Grandma Esme is going to have a bunch of stuff ready for us to watch a Halloween movie marathon!

GhostBusterEm: Sweeet. Night of the living dead, Friday the 13th (all versions), Saw 1-5, Freddy v. Jason, Scream…

TheJoker: And what makes u think we are going 2 watch those?

GhostBusterEm: Uh, duh, Halloween you watch Horror movies

StarWarsBountyHunter: rrrright. With Nessie? Do u really think Bella or Edward or both for that matter are going 2 let Nessie watch those not 2 mention Mom?

GhostBusterEm: Aw man. So what do we get stuck with?

VampKitty: Ghostbusters, Hocus Pocus, Casper meets Wendy, Sleepy Hallow and a bunch of Scooby-doo movies!

_BuffyVampireSlayer has logged on (leah)_

BuffyVampireSlayer: Ooo! Scooby Doo?!

2ndGhostbuster: Oh no, here we go…

BuffyVampireSlayer/VampKitty: Scooby dooby doo, Where are you we got some work to do! Scooby doo Where are you…

TheJoker: Huh?

2ndGhostBuster: Leah does this every year….sigh every time she hears "Scooby doo" she starts singing the theme song…

BuffyVampireSlayer/VampKitty: I see u, pretending u got a sliver, but you're not fooling me 'cause I can see, the way you shake and shiver…

2ndGhostbuster: I am realllly starting to hate that theme song….

GhostBusterEm: Hey Leah person wolf…

BuffyVampireSlayer: *rolls eyes* yes big vamp

GhostBusterEm: Yeah…what's w/ the costume?

BuffyVampireSlayer: *sigh* duh, I am a slayer of vampires and as it so happens I like the show (as well as the comics which are rockin' right now can't wait 2 find out who (FINALLY) is twilight!!!!)

GhostBusterEm: whatever. Buffy is okay but Vampire diaries are better

BuffyVampireSlayer: GASP HOW DARE U!!!!!

2ndGhostbuser: *bangs head on wall*

BuffyVampireSlayer: Vamp Dairies don't even realize that Vamps DO Sparkle! And not to mention Buffy came first!

GhostBusterEm: Big deal tho I have 2 say, Buffy is hotter…

BuffyVampireSlayer: So is Angel! Better than Stefan…thou he isn't too bad looking…

2ndGhostBuster: Okay we've got it, both shows have hot actors so can we go get candy now?!

VampKitty: yeah I'm w/ Seth CANDY!!!!!!!

TheJoker: hmmm, I just thought of something Em

GhostBusterEm: What Jazz?

TheJoker: Nessie hasn't ever had candy before…how do u think she'll take to it?

GhostBusterEm: I dunno I don't remember when I was a kid eating candy

2ndGhostbuster: She'll probably go hyper like any other kid who has too much sugar in her system lol, I know I was like that when I was a kid

StarWarsBountyHunter: Was?

2ndGhostbuster: Well u know what I mean

BuffyVampireSlayer: Kid u STILL get hyper from too much sugar

2ndGhostbuster: _WhatEVER_ let's just go already!!!!!

BuffyVampireSlayer: Okay let me just go get my stake

StarWarsBountyHunter: Just don't bring Garlic I don't wanna put up w/ the smell all night!

BuffyVampireSlayer: *sigh* FINE

_BuffyVampireSlayer has logged off_

2ndGhostbuster: So what r u 2 guys going 2 do while we go trick or treating?

GhostBusterEm: What do u mean? We're going trick or treating

StarWarsBountyHunter: 1st off, u can't go into La Push I don't think Sam would let u on just to trick or treat and 2nd U DON'T EAT HUMAN FOOD!

TheJoker: We were going 2 give our shares to Nessie

GhostbusterEm/VampKitty: Yeah! Candy for Nessie!!!!!

StarWarsBountyHunter: Still…

VampKitty: pleeeeasseee Please Jake? *puppy eyes*

StarWarsBountyHunter: Okay fine, I can claim that u being my imprint I had 2 give in

VampKitty: YAY!

VampKitty has logged off

2ndGhostbusters: Claim? *snort*

StarWarsBountyHunter: Shut it Seth come on let's go

GhostbusterEm: CANDY!!!

_GhostbusterEm has logged off_

Everyone:…

TheJoker: Yeah, it's confirmed Bella's theory is spot on He really is missing some of his brain

StarWarsBountyHunter: Yeah…let's go

TheJoker/2ndGhostbuster: RIGHT!

_TheJoker, StarWarsBountyHunter/2ndGhostbuster has logged off_

------11.35 P.M. later that evening------

_MissElizabethBennett has logged on (Bella)_

_MrDarcy (Edward of course lol)_

_CatWoman_meow (Alice lol)_

MrDarcy: Okay where are they?

CatWoman_meow: Who?

MrDarcy: *rolls eyes* duh, my daughter, our brothers and the wolves?

CatWoman_meow: Don't look at me, I got no clue *mutter mutter*

MissElizabethBennett: I just called Charlie they are on they're on their way back from Forks lol Charlie said they were on the jumpy side

CatWoman_meow: Who Nessie?

MissElizabethBennett: That's the funny thing; Dad said all of them but RENESMEE were all jumpy lol

MrDarcy: Lol, Just like her mom, fearless

CatWoman_meow: Hmm, sure fearless…or brainless

MissElizabethBennett: ALICE!

CatWoman_meow: Sorry it was there I had 2 take it. Huh, I wonder why they're all on edge?

MrDarcy: I am sure as soon as Emmett walks in he'll give us full details. Question tho on another topic, who won the sexiest man list?

CatWoman_meow: Oh that lol, it tied between Orlando Bloom and Rob Pattinson, Tanya voted for Rob Irina Orlando so we agreed tied

MissElizabethBennett: Poor esme was so disappointed

MrDarcy: lol

_VampKitty has logged on _

_TheJoker has logged on_

_GhostBusterEm has logged on_

_StarWarsBountyHunter has logged on _

_2ndGhostBuster has logged on_

_BuffyVampireSlayer has logged on _

_SuperMan_Iam has logged on (Quil)_

_Iam_BATMAN! Has logged on (Embry)_

2ndGhostBuster: *whew* home safe home

BuffyVampireSlayer: So much irony in that statement seeing how we are in a house of Vamps

MissEliazabethBennett: What is wrong with all of u that u guys are all like freaked out?

MrDarcy: hahahahaaaa

StarWarsBountyHunter: Oh shut up Mr. Sparkles, leave 2 my dad 2 tell us a scarily legend just as we are trick or treating

SuperMan_Iam- no kid, this is not the year to tell us spooky stuff…

Iam_BATMAN- Can't tell anymore if it's real or just a made up story….

VampKitty- It's OK guys, if something happens I'll save u!

StarWarsBountyHunter-…I don't think so Nessie it'll be the other way around

GhostbusterEm: HA! I'm not scared! I hope she is real! I'll kick her sorry butt!

TheJoker: I rather not have another confrontation w/another hostile mythical creature thanx

CatWoman_meow- Okayyyyy I'll bite what r u guys going on about? *glares at Edward who is still laughing his head off*

2ndGhostbuster: It's the Dask'iya' the ogress that boils and eats kids!

CatWoman_meow: Big deal

Iam_BATMAN: it is a big deal, dad says that she was super evil and is still lurking around well, her sister is

MissElizabethBennett: Sister?

SuperMan_Iam: You see, the 1st Dask'iya would use wax to keep kid's eyes closed and then one day a young girl was able to get the wax off in time to shove Dask'iya into the fire like all Hansel and Gretel style

2ndGhostbuster: Thing is according to Billy, she had a sister who still haunts around La Push wanting revenge on the tribe 4 her sister's death! She has green skin and sulks in shadows waiting for unsuspecting victims. He says she is stronger than even a vampire on nights when it is pitch black

MissElizabethBennett: U guys are werewolves and u run around all the time have u ever seen such a creature? Really?

StarWarsBountyHunter- well, no but I have found weird scents that I couldn't explain!

Iam_BATMAN: Sure that wasn't just Quil after he's eaten Mexican food?

SuperMan_Iam: HEY!

MrDarcy: Are u sure Billy wasn't just trying to spook u?

StarWarsBountyHunter: Normally I would say yes, but after everything we have been through not so much anymore…

*BAM!*

GhostbusterEm: GAH! WHAT WAS THAT?

MrDarcy: A window u idiot

GhostbusterEm: HEY u would be scared 2! Billy was really creepy and all like magick-y when he told us that legend

MissElizabethBennett: Lol, I believe that Billy was just trying 2 have some fun w/ u guys

_MarilynMonroe has logged on (Rose lol)_

MarilynMonroe: seriously Emmett, there is nothing to be afraid of we are vampire though I can see why the doggies would be such scary cats

StarWarsBountyHunter: Watch it blondie

BuffyVampireSlayer: Yeah I still have my stake and silver bullets

MarilynMonroe: Silver is for werewolves

BuffyVampireSlayer: Not on True Blood

MissElizabethBennett: Whatever, what is the big deal about this Dask'iya?

VampKitty: Simple she likes to torch her victims alive then slowly devour them

MissElizabethBennett:… Remind me later 2 yell at Billy

MrDarcy: Don't worry, I will

Iam_BATMAN: Come on nessie u got 2 be a little nervous did u not see Halloween? (the remake)

MissElizabethBennett: SAYWHAT NOW?

StarWarsBountyHunter: Thanks a lot bro

Iam_BATMAN: Oopsie

VampKitty: it's okay mommy, it wasn't that scary at all : )

MrDarcy: *glares*

StarWarsBountyHunter: Hey in my defense, Billy was watching it as was Sam, Emily, Paul, Rachael and Jared! Nessie ran in front of us so by the time we caught up she was half way through watching it!

VampKitty: It was more a cool psychologically side 2 it than scary

TheJoker: Yep, defiantly Edward and Bella's kid looking at it with a intellectual side and without thinking about the danger

MrDarcy/MissElizabethBennett: Shut up Jazz

*BANG!*

(Everyone but nessie jump)

2ndGhostbuster: GAH!

MarilynMonroe: What was that?

BuffyVampireSlayer: Not scared are we blondie?

MarilynMonroe: Watch it

GhostbusterEm: Don't worry we are supernatural creatures with super abilities plus I have seen every Horror film know to the world I know what 2 do!

StarWarsBountyHunter: *snort* u realize big guy that the big jock/ fat guys are almost always the 1st 2 die next to the geeks in horror movies

GhostbusterEm: I'm not bothered though

StarWarsBountyHunter: huh?

GhostbusterEm: Do I look bothered?

StarWarsBountyHunter: Noooo u look like a big stupid idiot Vamp-

GhostbusterEm: Does my face look bothered?

StarWarsBountyHunter: What are u-?

GhostbusterEm: But I'm not though, see look at my face *points at face*

StarWarsBountyHunter: I'm getting bothered u idiot would u-

GhostbusterEm: See not bothered

StarWarsBountyHunter" *grinds teeth* okayyyy

GhostbusterEm: Still not bothered though

StarWarsBountyHunter: SHUT UP U-

GhostbusterEm: Face

StarWarsBountyHunter: U SHOULD BE BOTHERED! I'm GONNA-

GhostbusterEm: Bothered

StarWarsBountyHunter: CAN IT!!!

GhostbusterEm:….

StarWarsBountyHunter: *Sigh*thank u

GhostbusterEm: Still not bothered

StarWarsBountyHunter: GAHHHHHHH!!!!!ha;lkdjf;alkdjf;alkjd;

MissElizabethBennett: Huh?

MrDarcy/TheJoker/Catwoman_meow/ MarilynMonroe: Katharine Tate Show

Iam_BATMAN/ SuperMan_Iam/Buffyvampireslayer/2ndGhostbuster: Ooohhhhhhh

VampKitty/MissElizabethBennett: lol

GhostebusterEm: Laugh it up bella the sweet one dies last

MissElizabethBennett: Whatever hmmm *puts shield up just in case*

VampKitty: what about the kids?

StarWarsBountyHunter: Kids never die ur good

VampKitty: Oh good!

StarWarsBountyHunter: Next to die are the hot-tempered chicks/ the snob

MarilynMonroe/BuffyVampireSlayer: whatever

GhostbusterEm: Then the Emos

TheJoker/MrDarcy: What they said, whatever

StarWarsBountyHunter: The tall strong hot guys are the last to bite the dust next to the sweet hot chick

Iam_BATMAN/Superman_Iam/2ndGhostbuster: Heck yeah *Woo*

MissElizabethBennett: Um, yay? Lol

BANG!

*Everyone jumps*

Iam_BATMAN: What was that?

StarWarsBountyHunter: Golly gee Batman I don't know maybe u should go find out!

Iam_BATMAN: *glares* Hey superman, go check it out

SuperMan_Iam: Just because I am dress like Superman doesn't mean jack, No way! Make the shrimp do it

2ndGhostBuster: NO WAY! Just because I am the youngest here next 2 nessie doesn't mean I am a shrimp and forget it! I've seen horror movies 2…

*BANG*

Alltheboywolves: YIP!

BuffythevampireSlayer: The brave protectors of La Push ladies and undead men

Alltheboywolves Boys - :P

SuperMan_Iam: Why don't YOU Go!

BuffytheVampireSlayer: Simple I am the hot-tempered one send blondie, superemo scareface, or emo Eddie 1st and if they come back then we know we are good

MrDarcy: Hilarious

MarilynMonroe: Har Har

TheJoker: Whatever Alice can u…

Catwoman_meow: NO And if we die it will be all the wolves fault!

2ndGhostbuster: srry

BANG!

Iam_BATMAN: is it me or is that getting closer?

GhostbusterEm: ITS GETTING CLOSER! Heehee BRING IT ON EVIL UGLY FAT CURSED MOTHER-!

TheCullenSiblings: EMMETT SHUT IT!

VampKitty: Don't worry Jake I protect u!

BANG!

StarWarsBountyHunter: Oh Noooo ur going…

*BANG!* (Doors dramatically open)

**AHHHHHH!!!!! *Everyone Screams and runs away* **

_Everyone is logged off_

FredEstar has logged on (Carlisle)

GingerGrant has logged on (Esme)

GingerGrant:…….Honey any idea why all the kids just all ran to various rooms in the house and are all now hiding under bed sheets and various pieces of furniture?

FredEstar: not a clue

_VampKitty has logged on_

VampKitty: *giggles* they all got scared by a story that Billy told us while trick or treating but I'm not scared

GingerGrant: Then why did u scream and go hide sweetie?

VampKitty: To make everyone else feel better

FredEstar: ROFL

GingerGrant: ohhh, lol, how thoughtful Nessie so brave 2!

*off computer Emmett from under the bed in his room w/Rose*" Fantastic, I've been shown up by a little squirt"

VampKitty: : ) Happy Halloween!!!!

----------

AN: Lol, well, belated Halloween by like 3 months but _anywayyyy_… The reason Alice and Jasper are Cat woman and The Joker is because I found a fun fanart w/ them as those two Batman bad guys (though now that I think about it I think Alice was batgirl…oh well lol) so I did them that way : ) I thank again Fusedtwilight for the legend! The link for it is on my profile, like Stephine I took a few liberties lol. I have 2 say I LOVED writing this and is definitely funnier than the last 2 chapters Lol. Thanksgiving will come soon and Christmas! Thanks for everyone's reviews and suggestions! Keep them coming they keep me writing!!!

Loves, Kiki


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